This is Mac - he belongs to a bloke who helps the Boss out around the farm.
He's overweight. He can't run - he trots along, like a fat man walking quickly. He barks at people when he's pleased to see them, which is weird, because you'd reckon something's up when a dog barks. Something interesting.
Anyway, he turns up once or twice a week and wanders around as if he own the place. Like, MY place. And he doesn't take any notice of me at all, even when I Iook fearsome and try to scare him.
He just sniffs the air like he's looking for something meaningful (other than me) and turns away.
But the really annoying thing about him is that he catches rabbits. Little ones. The sort I like to eat when I can get my jaws around 'em. And he's good at it.
I can't understand it, myself. I can run like the wind and jump over ten dogs his size, end-to-end. I can swim across the river and back in the time it takes him to climb down the bank. I can give a wallaby or kangaroo a run for its money and give good chase to a hare before he's wobbled around the veggie patch.
But I can't catch rabbits like he does. For the life of me, I don't know how he does it - he's a sloth.
He's so slow I can't be bothered watching his snail-like progress, when he slips under the house fence and disappears in the lucerne paddock. Then, ten minutes later, he comes back with a baby rabbit in his mouth.
He doesn't even want to eat it. He just prances back with this squealer in his mouth and deliberately walks in front of my nose, like daring me to snatch it. Then he takes it up to his master, who dispatches it.
And of course he won't show me, or take me with him. Well, I couldn't go with him could I? Even if I really want to. It would be too undignified, being seen learning something from a portly old Jack Russell.
So I'm none the wiser on how he can possibly do it, when I - The General, the hunter - am the dog with real ability around here.
It's humiliating. Woof.